Feeling bad about my Transition
19 years old 3 months on Estrogen 1 Month on Spiro
I feel like I look so stupid and ugly now compared to being a moderately attractive guy who isn’t having panic attacks in public and before I could just ignore the dysphoria, now I see how fucking ugly I look as a girl every time I look in the mirror especially when it’s bedtime and I have no makeup or wig on 😭
People on r/transpassing say i’ll prolly need 4 surgery’s and multiple more years on estrogen to pass and idk if I can handle all that.
When I first transitioned I was in a mental health facility specifically for lgbtq people and was so fucking happy and got so much support but now I feel like people are laughing at me in public and my old friends don’t hang out with me anymore and in brief phone calls i’ve had with them they say things like “wait so your a fucking T Slur while giggling about it” it fucking sucks. Idk if I can do this and even if I do detransition it’s gonna be so awkward for everyone. I need help idk wtf to do coming out trans and getting on hormones was the best thing I ever did but now that i’m in the real world it’s really fucking hard. People in public have stopped me and said things like “you better get the hell outta here looking like a cross dresser” and things like that.
I feel like im always gonna be treated like a freak and scared to be in public, im about to start college and I want to have friends and a socal life. I’m scared i won’t be able to make any and ill just be alone and judged.
advice? 😭
sorry for the dump i’m just having a really bad dysphoria day my mom walked in my room today and said “deadname why do you just lay in your room all day”
she says she’s supportive and sometimes calls me my preferred name but if my mom can’t even get it right then how tf can I except to make normal relationships and friends without it being weird. Not to mention every time I go to my dads house to see my grandparents and uncles and aunts I need to go boy mode 😔
sorry if some of this didn’t make sense I am out of one of my medications and have really high anxiety and dread about the future.
19 years old 3 months on Estrogen 1 Month on Spiro
I feel like I look so stupid and ugly now compared to being a moderately attractive guy who isn’t having panic attacks in public and before I could just ignore the dysphoria, now I see how fucking ugly I look as a girl every time I look in the mirror especially when it’s bedtime and I have no makeup or wig on 😭
People on r/transpassing say i’ll prolly need 4 surgery’s and multiple more years on estrogen to pass and idk if I can handle all that.
When I first transitioned I was in a mental health facility specifically for lgbtq people and was so fucking happy and got so much support but now I feel like people are laughing at me in public and my old friends don’t hang out with me anymore and in brief phone calls i’ve had with them they say things like “wait so your a fucking T Slur while giggling about it” it fucking sucks. Idk if I can do this and even if I do detransition it’s gonna be so awkward for everyone. I need help idk wtf to do coming out trans and getting on hormones was the best thing I ever did but now that i’m in the real world it’s really fucking hard. People in public have stopped me and said things like “you better get the hell outta here looking like a cross dresser” and things like that.
I feel like im always gonna be treated like a freak and scared to be in public, im about to start college and I want to have friends and a socal life. I’m scared i won’t be able to make any and ill just be alone and judged.
advice? 😭
sorry for the dump i’m just having a really bad dysphoria day my mom walked in my room today and said “deadname why do you just lay in your room all day”
she says she’s supportive and sometimes calls me my preferred name but if my mom can’t even get it right then how tf can I except to make normal relationships and friends without it being weird. Not to mention every time I go to my dads house to see my grandparents and uncles and aunts I need to go boy mode 😔
sorry if some of this didn’t make sense I am out of one of my medications and have really high anxiety and dread about the future.